Find all of the Chuck Norris Facts listed below. Click on one of the facts to have it printed on a shirt.
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Find all of the Chuck Norris Facts listed below. Click on one of the facts to have it printed on a shirt.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
In 1990, Chuck Norris founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America".
If the organization's name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
"Icy-Hot" is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
Stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
Find all of the Chuck Norris Facts listed below. Click on one of the facts to have it printed on a shirt.
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one… one bad-ass that is.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture, he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.




Reply With Quote



